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Is it mad to pray for better hallucinations?
Marija ■ 18 ■ multifandom blog
not spoiler free

"I meet people, and at first everything seems to be going okay, but then I start feeling like such an outsider."
2 Sep 14
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30 Aug 14
30 Aug 14
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30 Aug 14
128 notes
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lyraklaude: Gotoh loved Killua like a son. Canary distracted Amane so Killua could get his own way. Tsubone was willing to sacrifice her job and her life because she unwittingly ruined Killua's mission even though it wasn't her fault. Don't you think it's interesting how fiercely loyal the Zoldyck butlers are to Killua? It makes me wonder how it happened. Just how and when they decided they loved this kid and thought he deserved to get anything he wanted from life. (Cue the headcanons lol)


OH MY GOSH. I have a certain place in my heart reserved for the Zoldyck butlers. I feel like they are all “good” people who just got mixed up with the “wrong” family, or so they thought. They’ve all (besides Canary) likely been working there before the children were even born, and had to watch as the likes of Illumi and Milluki were made pliant and easily bent into the world of death. I can imagine Gotoh offering a Illumi a handkerchief or something to wipe off the blood after one of Illumi’s (likely TERRIBLE) “training/torture” sessions, and Illumi just looking up at him with glazed eyes and asking, “Who are you?”

The guilt lasts, and the kids keep coming. Milluki’s training isn’t as horrifying as Illumi’s but he doesn’t really care about life and death and the worth each holds. He looks a bit lonely, though, and Gotoh wordlessly leaves a bag of potato chips and a game console in his room one night. Milluki never says thank you. When his parents find out, they don’t care, so long as all the games have killing.

Killua, though, is different. All the butlers can tell immediately. He’s this little shining light, bright and smiling from the start. The butlers aren’t really allowed to interact with the children unless they initiate it first— which is why Illumi/Milluki never really formed a bond with any of the butlers. But Killua is a bit special. When he’s still a baby, standing guard, and tugs on his leg, grinning. There’s a coin in Gotoh’s hand that catches his eye and Gotoh notices, and flips it mid-air. Killua giggles and chants “Again, again!” and they spend the whole afternoon doing coin-tricks in the yard.

Killua’s first kill happens when he is three years old. It’s a small, pearl-furred housecat. He kills it with prodigious ease but he cries about it for hours on end. The blood on his hands scares him. The cat won’t wake up anymore. Why won’t it play? Did he do this? His parents are furious about this weakness, Zeno casually throws in, well, he did kill it, that should be enough, and Tsubone gently pats poor Master Killua’s head for a “Job well done” but she feels somewhat guilty. Gotoh comes to the rescue and says, “I’ll take care of it.” 

The Zoldycks think he’s gonna punish him, and say go ahead. Gotoh carries little Killua to his quarters, and shows him more coin-tricks. Killua gradually begins to brighten up, and then Gotoh tosses a coin to his hand, and he catches it, confused. Gotoh peels open one of the coins in his hands — it’s a chocolate coin! Mesmerized, Killua does the same. Gotoh puts the coin in his mouth and eats. Killua does the same with his.

Thus, a chocolate addiction is born.

(OOC: I LOVE KILLUA AND GOTOH OH MY GOD I-I… I bet there are lots of taboos in the Zoldyck family, especially phrases like I love you. Killua tells Gotoh this when he is five years old, for the first and last time. Gotoh turns away because there’s a tear in his eye.)

The butlers watch as Killua begins to grow close to his younger siblings and take care of them. Even though he’s a prodigy with death, he has this love for life that no one can crush. He is always friendly with all the butlers, and he has this yearning to him. He likes living people more than dead people. He likes people, in general. When he asks to be friends with Canary, it’s the first time anyone has ever shown any interest in her — she grew up a child worthless in Meteor City, always having to earn her keep. But Killua — this little, tiny kid— just wanted to befriend her.

But that couldn’t happen.

She would still do anything for him, though.

BASICALLY THE ZOLDYCK BUTLERS ALL LOVE KILLUA. He is their shining light, their hope for the Zoldyck family. Maybe he can make a change. Against all odds, he grew into the person he is now. It gave them hope for themselves, too.

29 Aug 14
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29 Aug 14
11,101 notes
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Girls don’t wear makeup to attract your shitty ass, we wear it to feel fabulous    ・゚✧(。♡‿♡。)・゚✧

29 Aug 14
434 notes
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29 Aug 14
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27 Aug 14
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27 Aug 14
534 notes
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pitou is my favorite chimera ant ;;-;;;;;;


pitou is my favorite chimera ant ;;-;;;;;;